This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

This is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some--
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood

And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again

Being an English major, reading all those messed up books ( yea you know, those kind that make Black Swan seem like some fairytale) really, truly messes with your thinking sometimes. You read the novel and the words speak out to you. You start relating it to your personal life, questioning it, formulating all sorts of wild thoughts, the "what-ifs". My friend and i were talking today and we were saying maybe that's why so many great writers commit suicide or suffer from depression. Could they have reached the depth of the human soul, putting it in words that it overwhelms and  consumes them?

True, their words are poetic and resonate in our minds even as the novel ends. Being human ( and a highly sensitive, hormonal female like yours truly), we tend to draw parallels all the time. Yet sometimes, we forget to confront these with facts right before our very eyes.We allow those wild 'theories" that we've formulated in our minds to overwhelm us.

"The only person that's standing in your way is you." - Black Swan, 2011

This quote is true in so many levels. True happiness lies within us, and only we ourselves have the power to unleash it.

1) Look cute for school ( even though you're headed home after the lecture)

2) Make-up ( file under "Look cute for school").. the whole she-bang

3) Smile and joke with friends ( even though you feel like shit on the inside.) 

4) No texting during lecture. Because.. why bother?

5) Bury self in readings and work when school's over.

Hypophrenic. That's what i am right now. Actually, i shouldn't be hypophrenic because i'm supposed to be sad without a reason. But i have one. The parents' 32743675th honeymoon to MTA. No one but me and Maria at home. It's true what they say, a house is not a home. When the people you love are away, it becomes a mere shelter.

I'm feeling so sluggish after the week of festivities.Getting all the gears back in motion is hard.Even now,i'm struggling with J.Joyce. With only 4 modules this sem, i want the A's badly. With this attitude, i'm never going to get them.

Back to work then.

Take it from Kanye( or was it Daft Punk?)

Work harder at school.

Make relationships better.

Do unfinished work/business faster, ie less time to procrastinate.

be stronger, physically and mentally.


Harder.Better.Faster.Stronger.

Happy 2011!